After Action Report: Soulard Mardi Gras 2011

Well, we survived the March 5, 2011 Soulard Mardi Gras Grand Parade day. A miracle! Remember, the parade (dominated by truck floats) doesn’t celebrate some ethnic or religious tradition. Instead, it is the kicking off point for what mg organizers wait for, the harvesting of money from the drunks.

This is the festival that celebrates how much people are willing to spend to self-medicate, how much people will pour into Soulard businesses, which pretend to be part of a neighborhood supported event. Why would we support this debacle? All it does is trash the neighborhood and teach people to disrespect our residential assets.

Reports are that attendance was down this year, a key element contributing to our survival.
We would like to think that any decline is from people recognizing that Soulard mg is just a money grab. Look at the prices for booze. The prices certainly didn’t go down.

Unfortunately, the real reason for any decline was the weather, which did not cooperate. The temps never got over 39, and there was a wicked wind and an overcast sky.

But give us some good weather, and mg will come roaring back. After all, the City of St. Louis is completely behind this destructive, imitation celebration.

Witness the Mayor’s Mardi Gras Ball, held Friday, March 4 at City Hall. As a warmup for Grand Parade day, we were treated to pictures of our delusional mayor, prancing about in his blue batman cape as the head of the Krewe of Inept and Clueless Weasels. He can posture for Mardi Gras, but he can’t grow St. Louis out of its dwindling population. He can promote Mardi Gras to drunks, but he can’t sell St. Louis to the Democratic National Committee as a convention site. Etcetera and so forth. The easier path beckons to those challenged by a mental hernia.

Other than watching City Hall antics, another amusing facet of the Soulard mg are the follow-up postings on Craigslist - Lost and Found. "I lost my set of keys at Soulard Mardi Gras," says one. "I just want my Mardi Gras pictures. You can have my camera!! I just want my memories," whines another. Must have been blind drunk.

"I lost my phone at Mardi Gras...And to be honest...since you were asking people on my contact list what they were wearing at midnight...I don’t want your creepy ass to have my pictures...," cryptically remarks another bird brain. You can be sure whoever now possesses the phone will return it.

"Lost a set of keys at Mardi Gras...I’m a student and need to get back to Chicago today. Call Patrick," yada, yada. We sure hope all these revoltoes make it back to mg next year, after they are reunited with their missing stuff. They are so welcome.

Remembrances of Mardi Gras Past

On April 20, 1999 the Soulard Mardi Gras Community Forum was held. It was an apres Mardi Gras event to uncover problems and complaints resulting from the Grand Parade Day. Some time after the forum there was made available a "summary of issues identified."

This summary is interesting reading, primarily because most of the issues raised and problems uncovered remain unresolved to this day. For example, at the top of the list is the category Unacceptable Behaviors of Crowd. Bullet point items were:
Public urination/defecation/vomiting
Public drunkenness
Underage drinking
Bringing in alcohol (coolers)
Vandalism/property destruction
Violence/personal injury
Nudity
Sex acts
Lack of enforcement by police of existing laws

On this list, the one item which has been corrected is "bringing in alcohol (coolers)." This behavior is totally unacceptable to those who sell booze during the event. There are now paid guards at neighborhood entrances to make sure no miscellaneous booze is smuggled into Soulard during the Grand Parade Day drunk.

After a period of discussion, forum attendees were divided into 19 groups and asked to list their views of the event. Not wishing to bore readers, Madame Chouteau numbered 19 pieces of paper and choose one piece from a hat. Number 18 came up. Following are the items generated by Group 18:
Underage drinking
Coolers (outside liquor coming in)
Car access - in crowd areas
Neighborhood parking - lack of
Public urination
Vandalism/property destruction
Police response
Public nudity
Media coverage - negative
Event too large
Accountability
Misinformation
Inconvenient to residents
Tuesday event was disaster

That the unsavory nature of the Grand Parade Day has not changed is underlined by a story titled "Mardi Gras revelry brings protest," printed in the Wednesday, March 26, 2008 issue of the South Side Journal. Written by Jim Merkel, the article begins:

"Lloyd Harvey has participated in sit-ins at segregated Woolworths stores during the Civil Rights era, fought for the homeless and victims of HIV/AIDS and formed a tenants association to fight a landlord.

"The 75-year-old artist is topping it off with a campaign to fight hours of jarring music and what he believes is rampant public urination once a year within close view and hearing of a South Side senior citizen apartment building.

"Harvey lives on the fourth floor of the Allen Market Lane Senior Living Apartments on the northwest corner of 12th Street and Russell Boulevard in the Soulard neighborhood.

"That’s five blocks west of the annual parade route and toward the edge of where thousands of revelers party for hours after the parade.

"Harvey has watched the antics of revelers during three Mardi Gras parade days. He’s looked out his window facing Russell and seen a street full of people celebrating and heard loud, jarring music all day, he said.

"This year, he said, he heard a DJ constantly shouting to people, ‘Let’s get drunk.’"

Article author Jim Merkel quotes a spectrum of St. Louis personalities who have fingers in the Mardi Gras pot. They all declare their shock and surprise about the complaints of Harvey, and they all express their apologies. Implied is their helplessness to correct problems, although they all testify that they sure are working on it.

A quote from Alderman Phyllis Young is symptomatic. As printed:

"Young agreed there’s a serious public urination problem which she’s seen around her own property. People will stand next to porta potties and urinate, she said. ‘It’s like they lose any sense of public decency that they had.’"

The Honorable Phyllis Young pretty much puts her finger on the problem: a lack of public decency, encouraged by the beneficiaries, the bars, and winked at by the political leadership of St. Louis, who apparently feels that the negatives of the event are outweighed by the positives: the money which trickles into the city coffers as the result of taxes collected.

In fact, this "festival" taints everything that comes into contact with it, including the annual Mayor’s Mardi Gras Ball, a goofy celebration of how good things are going for St. Louis, when, in fact, problems for the City are looming in every direction. The "what me worry" attitude of this peculiar act of blindness, held at City Hall the evening before the Grand Parade Day debacle, is spotlighted in a blog posting dated Jan. 7, 2010 and titled "Francis Slay Touts Mardi Gras Ball, While 17,000 St. Louisans Cannot Find Work" by Thomas Duda at http://notmymayor.com.

Over the last decade, if thought and integrity had been devoted to growing St. Louis, rather than greed and stupidity to growing the Soulard Mardi Gras Drunk, St. Louis might not be in as bad a shape as it now is.

Crime: Antoine Soulard's Revenge

On Saturday morning, November 28 - the Saturday after Thanksgiving - the number of broken auto windows - evidenced by the piles of windows glass along the road and from the still parked, damaged cars - on Soulard and S. 10th Streets was discomforting. A simple shopping trip to Soulard Farmers’ Market yielded insight into the condition of neighborhood civility.


In front of 1823 S. 10th was a red truck with a broken driver’s side window, and there was a fresh pile of broken glass where an adjoining vehicle would have parked. Across the street in front of 1824 S. 10th was what looked like older broken glass (it was scattered) and an auto with a temporary black plastic bag driver’s side window. Around the corner and in front of 911 Soulard was another car with a broken window, plus two fresh piles of broken window glass in adjoining spaces. Across the street in front of 904 Soulard was an older spread of broken window glass.


It looked like somebody had taken out five windows during the previous night, supplementing evidence of older vandalism in the vicinity. The car in front of 911 Soulard had temporary Colorado plates. Not an auspicious beginning for a new purchase.

What is one to make of this?


In an e-mail blaster message from Terry Hoffman - and copied from Lisa Otke’s blaster message dated Saturday, Nov. 21, 2009 - the weekend before Thanksgiving - the message was:


"Great news from Officer Hickel, Soulard Community Officer.


"Officers caught 4 black males, 17 years old breaking into vehicles on Wednesday night in Soulard. There had several handbags and valuable in the vehicle they were driving which had been stolen earlier in the day. They were responsible for several car break-ins around the area. This should reduce crime in the area!


"Thanks to Officer Hickel for sharing this good news!! Let’s hope we see a reduction of crime for awhile!!

"Have a good week and Happy Thanksgiving!"


The call to celebrate was premature. One could try for some humor and comment that Hi-Tech Security, the "rent-a-cop" company hired with our special business district add-on tax, is hot on restoring neighborhood manners, but it seems that there is nothing humorous - nor effective - about Hi-Tech Security. Two recent stories in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch hinted that scandal touches the company, suggesting it suffers from a defective business plan.

Of course, over the last number of years, civility has not been a Soulard trademark. The Mardi Gras Grand Parade Day (and other boozy festivals) promotes Soulard as a place to waste, all in the name of celebrating drunkenness while boosting the bottom lines of area bars and restaurants.

Year around, the patrons of the bars and restaurants do a fine job of leaving a debris trail that helps convey the message that "nobody cares what happens in this neighborhood," the price we pay for the unsought designation from the City of St. Louis of "Entertainment District."

The Soulard Restoration Group, a self-centered collection of poseurs, believes that promoting the party somehow promotes the neighborhood. They effortlessly sidestep the truth that fighting trash, just like fighting crime, requires healthy neighborhood morale and effective leadership. What years ago had been an evolving residential neighborhood has been traded for a "party neighborhood."


So maybe we can see all these broken windows - and a lot of other anti-social events - as "Soulard’s Revenge," as payback from our namesake for directing his neighborhood down the road towards Pigpensville. Random vandalism, occasionally mixed with violence or the threat of violence, coupled with trash, noise, accidents, etc., all the stuff from the police blotter, are "Soulard’s Revenge" for turning a historic residential neighborhood into St. Louis’ Party Neighborhood, as The Riverfront Times labels us.

Our Special Oktoberfest Festival

The Oktoberfest event has again landed on Soulard, another commercial exploitation of this historic district by private interests. Striving mightily to pretend that it is a neighborhood event, instead of a private, money-making activity, Oktoberfest further degrades the quality of residential life, distracting attention from growth and improvement, focusing on a party.

At the Soulard Special Business District forum, held on Sept. 30, a question was raised regarding security during Oktoberfest. It was interesting to listen to Alderwoman Phyllis Young during the ensuing discussion. She assured those attending that the responsible organization - Soulard Oktoberfest Benevolent Association - had assumed full responsibility for security.

She also said that the so-called festival will no longer be held in Soulard after this year. "They have promised this is the last year," she said, ignoring the fact that the organizers promised the same thing last year. She could have made the point that the organizers will say (and promise) anything to continue the event in Soulard.

Finally, she added that Oktoberfest was growing in popularity, and any who "did not like this event in their neighborhood should make their voices heard." She neglected to say to whom comments should be directed. Perhaps Santa Claus? The Easter Bunny?

St. Louis Post-Dispatch readers will recall that Alderwoman Young seems not to be a fan of Oktoberfest, possibly because she doesn’t want another over-the-top commercial event added to her legacy. She has good cause for embarrassment.

The Soulard Mardi Gras has grown to its present state of disorder as a public drunk during her reign as alderwoman. It gets a free pass from the City of St. Louis because our wise City Fathers are so desperate for revenue, no matter what the cost to a city neighborhood, no matter how disgraceful the event.

SMG has changed the tone of the entire neighborhood, transforming the culture from neighborhood growth and improvement to "let’s have a party." Thus, it gets a free pass from the Soulard Restoration Group, an organization now devoted to drinking. Their glib motto is: "If you don’t like Soulard Mardi Gras, then it’s time to move." And many otherwise contributing people have done this.

Anyway, after some skirmishing in the pages of the Post-Dispatch, Alderwoman Young wrote a letter - on Board of Aldermen stationary - on May 30, 2009 to Mr. Victor Wendl, President, Soulard Oktoberfest Benevolent Association, 7321 S. Lindbergh, Suite 208, St. Louis, MO 63125.

The letter pretty well catalogues the impact of Oktoberfest and reads as follows:

"I have reviewed the plan of action that you have submitted for curtailing the problems that have arisen in the past from the Oktoberfest. While I can see that you have made some effort I still have concerns. I’ll address the issues as you presented them.

"ISSUE 1: PUBLIC URINATION. Additional porta-potties in the area will be appreciated if they are used by your visitors. Will the ‘stationary officers’ patrol and issue tickets?

"ISSUE 2: PERSONAL PROPERTY DAMAGE. That might help; however, again what will the patrols do to curb this behavior? Will they issue tickets for damage?

"ISSUE 3: DAMAGE TO VEGETATION IN SOULARD MARKET PARK. Fencing the flower beds would be appreciated.

"ISSUE 4: DAMAGE TO PARK GROUNDS. That’s an item to take up with the Parks Director.

"ISSUE 5: IMPACT ON MARKET PARKING. Have you discussed this with the Market’s Merchant’s Association? In my discussions with them it was felt that the elderly and handicapped as well as those people who shop for large families will not come to the Market due to the inconvenience or inability to deal with large quantities of food on a shuttle bus. This is not an acceptable approach for resolving the Market’s issue.

"ISSUE 6: IMPACT ON MARKET SALES AND TRAFFIC. There has been no growth shown in the number of younger shoppers at the Market after either Mardi Gras or Oktoberfest. While you moved your date to the second week of October the checks for those dependent on Social Security generally arrive on the 5th of the month. Therefore, the date you have chosen is also the one that is generally the busiest of the month for the Market.

"You need to work more closely with the merchants at Soulard Market to limit the damage to their revenues. In effect your event causes them to lose a week’s revenues. It would be similar to closing a Soulard bar for a week. Keep that in mind as you plan your event.

"I’m told that the 50 cent coupons that were issued last year to offset the decrease in sales were never funded by your organization. Therefore, I am skeptical that the vendors would get reimbursed if people from food pantries came in with Soulard Oktoberfest Dollars. To show good faith to the Market Merchants a check with an agreed upon amount should be provided to the Merchants Association for deposit in an account two weeks prior to Oktoberfest to insure that the program would be funded.

"ISSUE 7: JULIA STREET VENDOR PARKING PROBLEMS. Again this is an issue to take up with the Park Director.

"ISSUE 8: EXCESSIVE DRUNKENNESS. I applaud the mandating of TIPS training for nonprofit organizations selling alcohol at Oktoberfest. I request that ID’s be checked with every sale. You’ll make the older folks feel young and be certain that everyone is of age to drink. In addition the state and local Excise officers should be asked to be at the event ticketing underage drinkers.

"ISSUE 9: GROWTH OF THE FESTIVAL TO UNMANAGEABLE ATTENDANCE. I agree that an entrance fee will help the event. I’m told that there was a $10 fee previously so I don’t understand the $5 one now proposed. You should also provide flexibility to hire additional security if the crowd builds.

"ISSUE 10: USE OF ALTERNATIVE LOCATIONS OR DISBURSE ACTIVITIES. (1) I have no information about why Strassenfest failed downtown; however, the split that brought Oktoberfest to Soulard was likely a part of it along with the fact that it occurred in the hottest part of our St. Louis summers. (2) If Oktoberfest is a German Cultural festival why not hold it at the German Cultural Center on S. Jefferson and build on the decision to locate that facility in that location. There is also a large parking lot adjacent to the St. Louis Gast Haus on Chouteau which could promote the event and the restaurant. (3) Alderman Ortmann has also agreed that your event could locate in Lyons Park in the shadow of the brewery.

"ISSUE 11: BOISTEROUS PEOPLE WHO BOTHERED RESIDENTS. While you can post on the website and throughout the neighborhood, unless there is some penalty imposed by the officers you hire there is no enforcement for this problem. What specific measures are you taking to insure the residents that your participants will be responsible and respectful?

"ISSUE 12: SHORTEN THE FESTIVAL HOURS AND/OR DAYS.

"ISSUE 13: CLOSING OF LAFAYETTE STREET NO EARLIER THAN NOON ON FRIDAY. These are the Director of Streets requirements. You may close 8th St on Thursday morning to construct the stage as was done last year, however, Lafayette Street will be available on Friday at noon. You may use the parking lanes and sidewalks for prep and staging provided that you leave the driving lanes open. You’ll need permits for all of this.

"I appreciate the thoughts and efforts of the group to meet the concerns expressed; however, I believe that more work is needed to protect both the adjacent neighbors and the Soulard Market Merchants. I will await you ideas.

"Sincerely, Phyllis Young, Alderwoman, 7th Ward"

Copies were sent to Alderman Ken Ortmann, Gary Bess, Todd Waeltermann, Jim Price, Johnny Daus, Joannie Thomas and Ann Chance.

Wow, that is some letter. These issues raise the obvious question: why let private interests - and private wallets - wag the dog and on the public dime, too?

An analysis of the issues reveals that Oktoberfest is nothing more than a microcosm of the Soulard Mardi Gras, and both events offer insights into the leadership skills - the degree of incompetence and venality - of those who run the neighborhood and the City of St. Louis. So if you don’t like what you see, well, then, it is time to move, as the neighborhood party people would say.

When was Soulard declared a Tax Haven? Nobody told Madame Chouteau

In addition to being an entertainment district, Soulard apparently has morphed into a tax haven. Some owners of properties which house local entertainment/business establishments seem to feel that paying their property taxes is a low priority.

Those curious can visit the website described as that of the City of St. Louis Assessor’s Office, Property Database Search (http://stlcin.missouri.org/assessor/lookup.cfm). After entering an address, visitors have the option of going to "Tax Payment History - view summary," a database maintained by the office of Gregory F. X. Daly, Collector of Revenue. According to informatiion provided as of 7/6/09 at approximately 9 a.m., when we checked, property described as 1923-1931 S. 12th Street is in arrears on property taxes for three years. The bills are: 2006: $10,941.03; 2007: $9780.59; 2008: $8,839.03, or a total of $29,560.65. The property is owned by NTM Partnership LLC, located at that address, and the building is the home of Nadine’s Gin Joint, a bar and restaurant.

Similarly, the records indicate that 1027 Geyer owes $8,658.61 for 2006; $7,736.58 for 2007, and $6,991.58 for 2008, or a total of $23,386.77, as per the time we checked on 7/6/09. The records indicate that the owner of the structure is Great Grizzly Blues LLC, 2 Clara Ave., Webster Groves, MO. The building is the home of The Great Grizzly Bear, a bar and restaurant.

Another address is 2001-2003 Menard, the address of Clementine’s Bar - Oh My Darlin’ Café. The owner, as listed on the Assessor’s website, is Clementine, Inc at that address. They are in much better shape, with past due taxes listed for 2007 as $5,625.25 and for 2008 as $5,083.52. The total is $10,708.77.

Finally, we note that 1200 Russell Blvd owes $24,191.66 from the 2008 tax year, as per a check of the Assessor’s Office web site, also on 7/6/09 at approximately 9 a.m. Everybody knows that is the address of John D. McGurk’s Irish Pub. The owner is listed as McGurks-Soulard LLC, 2000 S. 8th Street. They make that much money in a half and hour selling booze on Mardi Gras Grand Parade Day or St. Patrick’s Day.

It should be noted that, according to the web site, the information on the web site is updated weekly.

Why is this happening? Do these property owners perceive that Soulard entertainment district businesses are too big - to important - to have to be bothered with keeping their property tax payments up to date? The coffers of the City of St. Louis are not overflowing with cash. St. Louis may declare a fiscal crisis so city government can furlough employees and eliminate jobs.

Did the 2009 Mardi Gras income not meet expectations? Was the neighborhood turned into a trash bin and a public urinal for nothing because some business owners were not satisfied? They didn’t make enough money from the debacle, so they sent the tax man a rain check?

Or is this just another manifestation of the attitude among Soulard entertainment property owners that they can write their own rules, just like they do for Soulard Mardi Gras and during the rest of the year, staging a peculiar string of phony festivals and corn ball events, all to boost liquor sales, all trampling on the quality of life of residents?

Why are property owners whose businesses make so many neighborhood people uncomfortable allowed to skate on their property tax bills, too?

Our Most Sophisticated Mardi Gras Parade

We must admit that we missed the 2009 Grand Parade of the Soulard Mardi Gras on Saturday, February 21. The temps were freezing and a wicked wind pushed the wind chill into the 20's.

Missing the 2009 version of the parade might be perceived as a tragedy, since it is promoted as the crown jewel of the Soulard Mardi Gras and as an extremely sophisticated parade, second only to the public displays associated with a royal coronation. To be honest, those officers and members of Mardi Gras, Inc., and the Soulard Restoration Group carry themselves as though they are royalty. We know that the rest of the world wishes they were one with this in-crowd, with The Swells of Soulard. But you aren’t, so eat your heart out.

In fact, Madame Chouteau missed the parade not because of the weather but because the parade is so pathetic.

Here are some pictures from the 2008 parade. You could park your rosin chair next to the pumps at any truck stop in Pevely or Fenton and see a better parade of trucks, and without the drunken crowds. Bring your own beads and have a ball. And the booze would be cheaper, so you could get a good buzz on and have money left over to buy a six-pack or two to drink on your drive home.

It should be mentioned that the photos were taken at the beginning of the parade and do not advantageously display the parade setting: a stretch of road whimsically and romantically titled South Broadway, a post-industrial urban boulevard, complete with potholes and eroding curbs, embroidered with a surly spectrum of gas stations, worn at the edges fast food outlets, liquor stores, vacant buildings and trash strewn lots. To hear The Swells of Soulard talk, Mardi Gras turns South Broadway into some kind of Rodeo Drive. The Grand Parade does lend a certain flavor to South Broadway. The old computer saw about garbage in, garbage out comes to mind.

Thus, it is puzzling to witness the hubbub made over the Grand Parade and Grand Parade Day.

For example, why would Loonyness Place, the newest gambling venue here in St. Louis and a source of great civic pride to people starved for signs of municipal health, associate itself with this debacle by sponsoring it? Why would a supposed sophisticated business want to stand cheek by jowl with Mardi Gras Inc. and its child, the Grand Parade, a lame come-on for a faux festival trying mightily to disguise the fact that selling over-priced booze (and as much as possible to anybody) is its reason for existence?

Is this a cool branding move? Madame Chouteau has found that one way to determine whether somebody has a semblance of good sense and effectively evaluates reality is to bring up the subject of the Grand Parade Day. Those with a life say they wouldn’t get anywhere near the event. They accurately appraise it as "just a bunch of drunks."

So here is Your Sponsorship, LP, the entertainment venue whose unique contribution to St. Louis is a tunnel from the underutilized domed football stadium (which soon will be really underutilized) to their new digs in Laclede’s Landing. A tunnel from nowhere to nothing. Why does it associate with MG Inc? Maybe it helps management feel superior. Scientists aren’t sure.

In a city insecure about its identity and direction and hosting a leadership trumpeting self-serving answers and solutions, the Soulard Mardi Gras Grand Parade Day is a symptom of the continuing malaise confronting Soulard and St. Louis. Is a Grand Drunk - enthusiastically boosted as an answer by those who know better - the preview of things to come?

A Bitter Day for the Soulard Mardi Gras

The so-called Grand Parade Day symbolizes Soulard Mardi Gras. The day - which should be called the "Grand Drunk Day" - was held on Saturday, February 21. It is now over. Thank God.

The actual parade, which started at 11 a.m. and ended at 2 p.m., left the rest of the day for the bars and miscellaneous stands to sell booze, until outside sales ended at 8 p.m. and inside sales ended with a last call at 10:30 and bar closing at 11 p.m. Fortunately, the weather was cold, with temperatures in the low thirties. The cold was aided and abetted by a cutting wind, helpfully reducing the amount of trash - the drinkers - in the neighborhood.

During the time between the end of the parade and the merciful termination of liquor sales, there was nothing to do but to drink and to parade the streets. People did just that: drinking, mindlessly screaming and yelling, littering, engaging in a spectrum of anti-social activities, disrespecting themselves and the neighborhood. The ungodly noise and the trash produced by these annoying people seemed to be endless. Their behavior held the neighborhood hostage.

The halting of liquor sales finally finished what the wind and the cold temperatures (not to mention self respect and manners) could not accomplish: sending the remaining rubbish home, bringing to a close for another year this bleak, dangerous, ugly little faux festival, nudging elsewhere the awful folks who think that because they are half drunk (or all drunk), then they must be having a good time. Closing the tills of those whose greed for a fistful of dollars allows them to overlook what they do to the Soulard neighborhood and to the City of St. Louis.

Second largest Mardi Gras celebration in the nation, they brag. In reality, it is nothing but a public debacle, a blot on the landscape, a spectacle offering more insights into the leadership and personality of this town than anybody should want to reveal.

Soulard Mardi Gras Grand Parade day is truly a bleak, bitter day, even during those years when that day is warm and the wind is stilled.

Too Many Bars in Soulard? When Did That Happen?

A friend of mine moved to St. Louis from California almost two years ago. She purchased a home in the Lafayette Square Historic District. One day I asked her if she had considered the Soulard neighborhood while shopping for a home to buy. She had, but when she questioned her real estate agent about Soulard, the agent said that there were too many bars there.

Madame Chouteau wishes to thank that real estate agent for doing his job. Soulard has many charms. The Soulard Farmers’ Market, the European flavor of the architecture, the convenience of the neighborhood, and other elements are tremendous assets for an area that was dismissed as a slum and slated for demolition as recently as the early 1970's. However, the neighborhood recognizes that it does not benefit from people moving in and then discovering an aversion to bars and bar byproducts: noise, litter, vandalism, drunkenness and other quality of life issues. People should make decisions based on understanding the positives and negatives.

The need to confront reality is not concealed by Soulard residents. In the Sunday, August 29, 2004 issue ("News Watch: Issues and Analysis," Section B, page 1) of the "St. Louis Post-Dispatch" there was a very apt quote: "Anyone who lives in Soulard isn’t going to be anti-bar. You wouldn’t move here if you were." This excellent quip (or slap in the face, if you will) for Soulard residents (and potential residents) is attributed to "Gary Siddens of the Soulard Restoration Group." The context of the quote was a debate resulting from an "effort to limit the proliferation of nightspots in the neighborhood," according to the newspaper.

Madame Chouteau remembers talking with somebody who thought Mardi Gras was too declasse. This lady had gone door-to-door with a petition, trying to enlist support for controlling (or limiting) the main event, the Grand Parade, as it is known. At one rental unit, a woman answered the door. After learning the purpose of the petition, the woman replied: "I can’t sign that, I’m a drinker." And we know another family who bought a house in Soulard. Their proud explanation was: "We were down here partying all the time, so we thought we might just as well move to Soulard."

In the early 1970's, Soulard was a slum, the result of lack of insight and of attention during the watch of Alderman Raymond Leisure. Then things started to look up, as so-called "urban pioneers" discovered the area and started turning it into a residential-oriented historic district. Just when things started to look their brightest, Soulard turned again. It was sidetracked, turned into an entertainment district whose foundation is a potemkin Mardi Gras.

This peculiar and ugly celebration - which symbolizes the difficulty of Soulard (and of St. Louis) to envision a future - and the growth in the number of bars and liquor outlets (and the designation of Soulard as an entertainment district) has occurred on the watch of Seventh Ward Alderperson Phyllis Young. The alteration in the personality of Soulard has been ignored by the clueless neighborhood organization, the Soulard Restoration Group, and it has been spurred by the venality of liquor purveyors who have been given a free reign.

This course change, which caters to the lowest common denominator of neighborhood interests, has just happened, like a rudderless ship foundering on the rocks. The metamorphosis harks back to the visionless leadership provided during the years of Raymond Leisure.

Madame Chouteau thanks Alderperson Young and her supporters and handlers for her governance, for looking out for the interests of the businesses in Soulard and for helping turn the neighborhood into the setting for an annual, mirthless bacchanal and for the year-around antics of people devoid of any respect for Soulard or themselves. And Madame Chouteau hopes that real estate agents will continue to inform their clients of the existing reality in Soulard. After all, if this is as good as it gets, then new arrivals and the unwary need to be informed.

Remembrances of a Pope's Visit Past

The visit of Pope Benedict XVI to the United States revives for Madame Chouteau fond memories of the stop in St. Louis of Pope John Paul II in January, 1999.

It was exciting. Even today I can replay in my mind the tv footage of the Popemobile carrying Pope John Paul through the empty streets of St. Louis. Yes, empty! Nobody came out to see the Pope. No cheering crowds lined the streets. I can hear the news announcer intoning before the event: "Don’t even think about coming downtown (to see the Pope)." St. Louis leaders forecast that the crowds would yield gridlock, and so they orchestrated a media campaign to keep traffic in check. It was a clear case of meddling (big brother knows best) and overkill. They scared almost everyone away from the historic event.

Not only did people who wanted to see the Pope stay home, but downtown workers took time off, staying home to avoid being caught in the anticipated crowds.

The "St Louis Post-Dispatch" story dated 1/31/1999 by Repps Hudson and headlined "Business prayers weren’t answered" describes disappointed parking lot owners (their lots were empty), unhappy restaurant owners (burdened with extra supplies laid in for the non-existent crowds), etc.

A paragraph from the story stated that "according to many merchants and restaurateurs, the news media left the indelible impression that downtown would be swamped with cars, pedestrians and papal parades. So tens of thousands of people who normally went downtown stayed away Tuesday and Wednesday."

One quote from Hudson’s story says it all: "Downtown looked like a city during World War II," and the interviewee added: "Downtown has a tendency to do boo-boos like this."

The blame game is classic St. Louis. The absence of people was blamed on the weather and on papal security. And the press was blamed for publicizing the dire warnings that organizers told them to publicize.

More insightful than blaming the weather and the press, though, was the blaming of the citizenry. Following is a quote from the "P-D" story: "‘We had no idea the local folks could be so easily swayed and scared,’ Franklin "Kim" Kimbrough of the Downtown Saint Louis Partnership said Friday. Kimbrough had urged street-level businesses to stay open to show the world how downtown works."

But some good came from this debacle. It put a name and a face on a time-honored leadership tactic. To get your way, do a "Pope Scare." Basically, a Pope Scare campaign is designed to terrorize the populace so they do what civic leaders want, usually something contrary to public interests and good government.

For example, when the Cardinals owners wanted a new stadium and tax breaks, the Pope Scare line was: "If the poor Cardinals owners don’t get what they are so humbly seeking and need, then the team will move to East St. Louis (or Granite City or Mascoutah or East Whatever)." The majority of the population trembled in its shoes, and the Cardinals received whatever they demanded. A mud hole is only a down payment in the price to pay.

And how about this one: "If the voters don’t approve legalized gambling, then gambling tax revenues will not be available to revive and power our school system and people will not move to the city." Well, that certainly has worked out! The City of St. Louis public school system makes the wreck of the Hesperas look like sunny day, smooth water sailing.

Want another? How about: "If you don’t vote for this sales tax increase, then our firemen and policemen will not get a raise and they will quit and your house will burn down and you will be at the mercy of criminal elements." The resulting increased tax revenues mean that municipal finances do not need to be put in order. Special interests can continue to feed at the trough.

On the national level, here’s a great Pope Scare from the Bush-Cheney misinformation machine: "If the troops are brought home from Iraq, Al Qaeda will follow them home."

And, of course, the local beer peddlers have one for the Soulard neighborhood: "If Mardi Gras moves downtown, then all the police will be there, and when drunken hordes return to Soulard, the residents will be at their mercy." Another overkill. Downtown wouldn’t touch that pig. Let it wallow where it is.

In the St. Louis vernacular, Pope Scares are fabrications designed to invoke fear. And they really work. But we always pay a price for buying a phony line in exchange for security. Madame Chouteau loves Pope Scares and applauds their use by our leaders. Pope Scare based government is a substitute for thoughtful planning and real leadership. So when somebody tells you to go with the flow or something terrible will befall you and the entire community, think of the Pope. His was a lonely, bleak introduction to the deserted streets of St. Louis. And St. Louis lost an historical moment on the world stage.

A More Amazing Mardi Gras

Madame Chouteau found this press release on another blog. It certainly contains good news. A more sophisticated Soulard (a French word meaning "Swami Gupta will not be at the office today") Mardi Gras. What joy this brings. And now it is the largest Mardi Gras event in the country. Our fragile little historic district does not get any better than this. For your pleasure and edification, we reproduce the release:

Draft Press Release, February 20, 2008

Soulard Mardi Gras sees Great Things in 2009

Preparations are even now underway to make Soulard Mardi Gras Grand Parade Day 2009 even more exciting than it was on Feb. 2, 2008.

For example, more exotic and costly floats are on the drawing boards. Some krewes started design and construction as soon as a week after 2008 parade day. The underlying float theme for 2009 parallels this year's theme: sophisticated floats which caricature and imitate trucks. Just as in the Rose Parade, thousands of flowers are used to create floats which resemble truck floats. It is really very unique, as all parade goers testify, and the St. Louis floats always have put the Rose Parade offerings to shame. After all, Lumberous Place, sponsor of the Grand Parade, don't sponsor no cheesy events.

In addition, more publicity for the festival, now billed as the "2nd largest Mardi Gras celebration" in the United States, is coming. Negotiations are underway with FOX, CBS, Discovery Channel and BET to nationally televise the parade. Imagine the favorable publicity for St. Louis when Siegfried and Roy, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen or some similar sparkling personalities sit alongside Mayor Slay to moderate the parade to a national audience. First in shoes, first in Mardi Gras is the objective.

Already St. Louis has several feathers in our cap to capture the national spotlight. The New Orleans Mardi Gras is now borrowing our good ideas, such as our Krewe of Barkus Parade. They have started to hold a similar event in the French Quarter, or what is left of it. Hey, N.O., give credit where credit is due. They are obviously on their last legs, while St. Louis is on the upswing, enjoying the favor of Fortuna, thanks to our innovativeness.

Parking problems are also being resolved. Both Soulard and adjoining LaSalle Park have restricted parking, so all you party animals are urged to park in Lafayette Square and Benton Park. The kind folks in Lafayette Square are so in love with their neighborhood that they pick up after us, so it is less a clean-up expense to Mardi Gras Inc. Who knows what goes on in Benton Park?

Finally, and most exciting, is an increase in the number of bars and restaurants in Soulard. In French, the word "soulard" translates as "drunken pig." We are all excited about living up to that. More and more buildings are being converted to or used as bars and bars and restaurants. Mardi Gras fans are grateful for the excellent support from political and redevelopment officials with the City of St. Louis, who perceive that the family-oriented festival and more bars will help save St. Louis and bring it greater prosperity, just as the increase in gambling facilities will contribute.

In summary, Soulard Mardi Gras profiteers are looking forward to bigger and better things. As Official Parade Spokesman Back Madly comments: "Lazy less beantowns rolaids," which is French for "let the good times roll."