Thursday, March 10, 2011

After Action Report: Soulard Mardi Gras 2011

Well, we survived the March 5, 2011 Soulard Mardi Gras Grand Parade day. A miracle! Remember, the parade (dominated by truck floats) doesn’t celebrate some ethnic or religious tradition. Instead, it is the kicking off point for what mg organizers wait for, the harvesting of money from the drunks.

This is the festival that celebrates how much people are willing to spend to self-medicate, how much people will pour into Soulard businesses, which pretend to be part of a neighborhood supported event. Why would we support this debacle? All it does is trash the neighborhood and teach people to disrespect our residential assets.

Reports are that attendance was down this year, a key element contributing to our survival.
We would like to think that any decline is from people recognizing that Soulard mg is just a money grab. Look at the prices for booze. The prices certainly didn’t go down.

Unfortunately, the real reason for any decline was the weather, which did not cooperate. The temps never got over 39, and there was a wicked wind and an overcast sky.

But give us some good weather, and mg will come roaring back. After all, the City of St. Louis is completely behind this destructive, imitation celebration.

Witness the Mayor’s Mardi Gras Ball, held Friday, March 4 at City Hall. As a warmup for Grand Parade day, we were treated to pictures of our delusional mayor, prancing about in his blue batman cape as the head of the Krewe of Inept and Clueless Weasels. He can posture for Mardi Gras, but he can’t grow St. Louis out of its dwindling population. He can promote Mardi Gras to drunks, but he can’t sell St. Louis to the Democratic National Committee as a convention site. Etcetera and so forth. The easier path beckons to those challenged by a mental hernia.

Other than watching City Hall antics, another amusing facet of the Soulard mg are the follow-up postings on Craigslist - Lost and Found. "I lost my set of keys at Soulard Mardi Gras," says one. "I just want my Mardi Gras pictures. You can have my camera!! I just want my memories," whines another. Must have been blind drunk.

"I lost my phone at Mardi Gras...And to be honest...since you were asking people on my contact list what they were wearing at midnight...I don’t want your creepy ass to have my pictures...," cryptically remarks another bird brain. You can be sure whoever now possesses the phone will return it.

"Lost a set of keys at Mardi Gras...I’m a student and need to get back to Chicago today. Call Patrick," yada, yada. We sure hope all these revoltoes make it back to mg next year, after they are reunited with their missing stuff. They are so welcome.

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